Portfolio Time

"Enthralled with To Kill a Mockingbird"

We're wrapping up our school year here, and scrambling to put together portfolios to show the school district that we don't just sit around here listening to metal music, and blowing bubbles all day.

Homeschooling is a life style. It's not a classroom at the kitchen table where the kids sit for 6 hours a day. Oh no! Still sometimes I think maybe were not doing enough, and that my kids' porfolios are going to look something like this:

Reading- Does Guitar Magazine, or Ripley's Believe it or Not count?

Math- Lily had 2 dozen eggs. Red made 2-2 egg omelets this week, the 2 babies had 1 scrambled egg every morning this week for breakfast, except for on Wednesday when Gio stayed home. Lily made pancakes on Tuesday, which call for 1 egg per batch. The family ate two batches of pancakes on Tuesday. Dad made each of the 4 kids English muffin, egg, ham, and cheese sandwiches on Friday, and ate 2 himself. What happened to all the orange juice? I bought 3 freakin gallons of it this week!!

History- No, I do not remember the moon landing. I was in my crib sucking a bottle at the time.

Science- If AJ and the cat both jump off the roof at the same time, and AJ is wearing sneakers, and the cat is barefoot, but has a tail which creates more drag, who is more likely to break a leg?

Grammar- For the hundred-millionth time Blase and I want to take the train downtown.

Art? Oh god no, Jac, you can't draw on your sister's forehead with markers!!!

Gym- Why am I not in school officer? I am! The skateboard? Can't you see I'm doing PE?

Foreign language- "Dude", "Ghetto", "Whack"-common Wiggerese phrases.

Health- You damn well better not be sneaking out in the middle of the night and drinking, Cissy, or I'll knock you out!

Home Ec- How many times do I have to tell you to fold your g-damn laundry and get it off my couch, Lee?!