Our Journey To Homeschooling

I wrote quite a while back about how we began homeschooling. Shame on me for not continuing the story sooner.

3 weeks of school had gone by in Red's 3rd new school in 3 years. I had seen the classroom they had my son relegated to-a dingy 9 x 12 modular at the end of the school, with stained carpet, and sallow walls. Mrs. S. wanted to talk to me about Red's math. She felt he couldn't do 5th grade work. This is a child who could count handfuls of coins when he was 4 years old. This is a child who was once in the advanced math class. I couldn't understand it. "I thought the point of having small group instruction was so that Red would get more help." "I've got 2 6th graders doing 3rd grade math.", was Mrs. S's reply.

"And I want to leave my child here to learn?", I thought.

That was but one of the red flags that went up the first month of school. Red was coming home crying, miserable. I watched all sense of vitality draining from my child. The grand finale in this disastrous placement was going to Back To School night. For 30 minutes, my husband and I sat in the auditorium listening to the school principle extol the virtues of his school, referencing their shining PSSA scores.

Since I'd already met my son's special education teacher and seen his cell-I mean special ed classroom, I decided we'd go to the regular classroom, and meet the regular ed teacher. The teacher was very enthusiastic, going on about all the great things our kids would be learning this year in her classroom. While I listened, I scanned the room looking for my son's essay. All over the walls were essays the children had written to show off to the parents. I looked and looked, but could not find my son's. Finally I spotted it hidden behind a desk, hung so low on the wall, it was almost on the floor. When the teacher was done talking she greeted some of the parents individually. She chattered on with little Bobby's mom, and Susie's dad. Then I approached, extended my hand, and gave a warm smile. "Hi, we're Mr. & Mrs. K..., we're Red's parents." You would have thought I'd said, "Hi, our son's the leper in your class." The teacher cast her eyes down, her wrist went limp, and she hurriedly dismissed us to go talk with someone else. I had to grab back her attention to ask her about music lessons. I'd been wanting Red to learn guitar. "That's probably not a good idea, Red needs all the time he can get to work on his regular subjects. Guitar would be a distraction."

I had barely made it to the car as my eyes welled up. I felt like complete shit. I thought if one hour in this school made me feel like this, what was 6 hours a day doing to my 10 year old son! That is when I made the determination to get my son out of there, and teach him myself. I couldn't possibly do any worse.

Thank the Internet gods, that I came across some very helpful people who got the ball rolling for me. I actually enrolled Red in a public cyber-charter school. The first week was frentic. But little by little we made a lot of progress. I saw that spark come back to my child's eyes.

The next year, AJ joined us at home. Homeschooling proved to be quite a good formula for him as well.

Fast forward 5 years later, and I've got two happy, intelligent boys working to their fullest potential. They're not geniuses. I'm not into trying to prove anything to anyone else. What they are are independent free-thinkers. They're both talented musicians as well.

What About Socialization?

If you're a fellow homeschooling parent, I'm sure you've gotten the question, "What about their socialization?" You could be standing in the middle of a party while your offspring are running around organizing a game of capture the flag, and they'll still say it! You could be at scouts, or music lessons, and you still get it!

So here are 10 answers to that inevitable question:

1. Socila-what? What are you talking about?

2. Well I am having a lot of trouble with shooting the spitballs, but we've got the noogies down.

3. Jesus and the Saints are all the socialization my kids need; the Lord said so.

4. Funny you should ask, my husband and I each took one kid and formed our own little cliques the other day! He's got "jocks"; I've got "goths".

5. Yes, I am very worried. Could you please have your little Joey come over and explain to my kids why Crazy Bones are so important to be buying all the time. My kids keep wasting their money on things like guitars, and recording equipment!

6. Now that you mention it, my son was saying how hard it is to get your son to play with him, what with all the school, the bus rides, homework...

7. Hey did I tell you my 15 year old was just picked to be a student assistant at his music school because his leadership skills exceeded those of the 16-18 year olds?

8. It's no problem, we got that new book, "Socialization for Dummies". Want to borrow it when we're done?

9. I put an ad up at the library to find other 11 year old kids to come to my house once a week and sit in chairs for an hour, and then I let them talk for 5 minutes.

10. They're not in homeschool to socialize! Oh, wait a minute, silly me! That's "You're not in school to socialize!"

Do you spend every day like this in the real world?

Portfolio Time

"Enthralled with To Kill a Mockingbird"

We're wrapping up our school year here, and scrambling to put together portfolios to show the school district that we don't just sit around here listening to metal music, and blowing bubbles all day.

Homeschooling is a life style. It's not a classroom at the kitchen table where the kids sit for 6 hours a day. Oh no! Still sometimes I think maybe were not doing enough, and that my kids' porfolios are going to look something like this:

Reading- Does Guitar Magazine, or Ripley's Believe it or Not count?

Math- Lily had 2 dozen eggs. Red made 2-2 egg omelets this week, the 2 babies had 1 scrambled egg every morning this week for breakfast, except for on Wednesday when Gio stayed home. Lily made pancakes on Tuesday, which call for 1 egg per batch. The family ate two batches of pancakes on Tuesday. Dad made each of the 4 kids English muffin, egg, ham, and cheese sandwiches on Friday, and ate 2 himself. What happened to all the orange juice? I bought 3 freakin gallons of it this week!!

History- No, I do not remember the moon landing. I was in my crib sucking a bottle at the time.

Science- If AJ and the cat both jump off the roof at the same time, and AJ is wearing sneakers, and the cat is barefoot, but has a tail which creates more drag, who is more likely to break a leg?

Grammar- For the hundred-millionth time Blase and I want to take the train downtown.

Art? Oh god no, Jac, you can't draw on your sister's forehead with markers!!!

Gym- Why am I not in school officer? I am! The skateboard? Can't you see I'm doing PE?

Foreign language- "Dude", "Ghetto", "Whack"-common Wiggerese phrases.

Health- You damn well better not be sneaking out in the middle of the night and drinking, Cissy, or I'll knock you out!

Home Ec- How many times do I have to tell you to fold your g-damn laundry and get it off my couch, Lee?!

Introduction-edited on 8/29/07

Hi, my name is Lori-Ann. I am what I consider to be an unusual person. Here are 10 factoids about me.

I am:

1. 39 years old, married 18 years &
the mother of 3 teenage children, and one preteen

2. a "stay at home mom" I hate that phrase, but for simplicty's sake, I will use it here

3. a homeschooling mom

4. an atheist

5. an adult with ADHD

6. a "middle child"

7. a "soccer mom", but my kids don't play soccer

8. a nanny

9. a "non-practicing" bisexual

10. a hopeless romantic