The Crazy Shade Lady

On one crazy Saturday at Big Box Mart:

I was called out of the breakroom at work to wait on a customer. When I got to my department, I had a woman waiting for me to cut 4 roller shades. I went to measure the shades, because at first glance I knew they did not come from my store. (I assumed they were her old shades, and she wanted new ones the same size.)

The customer interjects, "I bought these here last week, and didn't get them cut, and now I want them cut."

"You bought these here?"

"Yes! I bought them here, and I want them cut. I painted them in the meantime."
All 4 shades have what looks like a child's artwork in posterpaint on them.

"OK..."

I pick up the first shade, go to the vise to take off the plastic end. "This end is different than the ends we usually have in our shades." Customer claims she put a different plastic end in her "new" shade. "OK..." Then I go to set the shade up in the cutter, and notice something major.

The shade has a metal barrel.

"This is not one of our shades, ma'am. It has a metal barrel. Our shades have cardboard barrels, which is why we can cut them."

"Of course it's from here! I bought it here, and the woman that was here when I bought it said it could be cut."

"But ma'am, the barrel is metal."

"Can you cut it, or not?"

"No, I don't have the equipment to cut metal barrels."

Then I proceeded to check the other 3 shades, and sure enough they all had different plastic tips, and all had metal barrels.

"Maybe you got these shades mixed up at home with the ones you bought here?"

I thought I was trying to give her an out, instead of flat out calling her a liar.

"I told you. I bought these here."

"Can I see your receipt?"

Customer actually produces a receipt with 2 shades listed on it. Hmm... wonder why there's 2 shades on the receipt and 4 on my table if she bought them all last week. Besides which, the shades on her receipt are the ones with fringe on them.

"Well, ma'am, I'd be happy to cut any shades you bring me that I could cut, meaning, they'd have to have cardboard inside."

The woman stomps off, with her shades, finds two managers on the way out, tells them I am a bitch, that I've got an attitude, and that I called her stupid.

"I was actually thinking "crazy", but yeah, "stupid" would describe her too. As a matter of fact, she must be crazy and stupid to thing that I'm so stupid that I don't know the difference between shades I've been cutting for a year and a half and the metal barrelled art work she was toting.