Portfolio Time

"Enthralled with To Kill a Mockingbird"

We're wrapping up our school year here, and scrambling to put together portfolios to show the school district that we don't just sit around here listening to metal music, and blowing bubbles all day.

Homeschooling is a life style. It's not a classroom at the kitchen table where the kids sit for 6 hours a day. Oh no! Still sometimes I think maybe were not doing enough, and that my kids' porfolios are going to look something like this:

Reading- Does Guitar Magazine, or Ripley's Believe it or Not count?

Math- Lily had 2 dozen eggs. Red made 2-2 egg omelets this week, the 2 babies had 1 scrambled egg every morning this week for breakfast, except for on Wednesday when Gio stayed home. Lily made pancakes on Tuesday, which call for 1 egg per batch. The family ate two batches of pancakes on Tuesday. Dad made each of the 4 kids English muffin, egg, ham, and cheese sandwiches on Friday, and ate 2 himself. What happened to all the orange juice? I bought 3 freakin gallons of it this week!!

History- No, I do not remember the moon landing. I was in my crib sucking a bottle at the time.

Science- If AJ and the cat both jump off the roof at the same time, and AJ is wearing sneakers, and the cat is barefoot, but has a tail which creates more drag, who is more likely to break a leg?

Grammar- For the hundred-millionth time Blase and I want to take the train downtown.

Art? Oh god no, Jac, you can't draw on your sister's forehead with markers!!!

Gym- Why am I not in school officer? I am! The skateboard? Can't you see I'm doing PE?

Foreign language- "Dude", "Ghetto", "Whack"-common Wiggerese phrases.

Health- You damn well better not be sneaking out in the middle of the night and drinking, Cissy, or I'll knock you out!

Home Ec- How many times do I have to tell you to fold your g-damn laundry and get it off my couch, Lee?!

One Fish Two Fish, Creek Fish, New Fish

AJ: Mom, I got a fish from the creek.

Mom: Put it back it'll die.

AJ: I've had it in a bowl for 3 days; it won't die.

Mom: Well it's gonna die; put the poor thing back

10 months later

AJ: Mom, I gotta 'nother fish.

Mom: From where?

AJ: From Mikey; he got 10 for a dollar.

Mom: Well don't put it in the same bowl as the other fish; they'll fight

AJ: I put them both in the big aquarium (the 10 gallon one in the laundry room that once held ever multiplying gerbils)

Mom: Why'd you put them in there? You have to have a filter in that big aquarium. You can't keep dumping the water out and re-filling it. They'll be dead in 2 days

2 days later

Issac the creek fish and Marvin the goldfish are happily swimming around in a 10 gallon aquarium, that we'd better go get a filter for.

Those Sexy Clothes

My husband thinks everything is sexy on me. Almost every day, he asks why I am wearing my "sexy" underwear, when he's going off to work.
I look down and say, "Why are these my sexy underwear?"

"Because they're red"
or "pink",or "black",
or "have hearts on them",
or "lace",
or "cherries",
or "stripes....."

One time my husband saw me at work at "Big Box Mart". I was bending over the counter scanning something at the cash register. Now he won't stop talking about me in my tan shorts and red vest.

Every day, my husband talks about how my ass looks in "those jeans"
or "those shorts"
or "those capris"

I wear nightgowns to bed, the "granny" type, and he thinks they're sexy "because they have buttons at the top." (so they can be unbuttoned and he can play with my breast)

All my shirts apparently "accentuate my shoulders"
or "breasts"
or "back"

If I actually wear something that most guys think is sexy, say a little black dress and heels, I'll be wearing his hands on my ass half the night too.

Honestly, some day I'm actually going to get a burlap sac to see if he says that's sexy!

Crohn's Disease

Crohn’s disease is an incurable disease which affects the digestive tract. My daughter, Lee, has the most severe form of the disease. Her entire digestive tract's been affected, from ulcers in her mouth, down her esophogus, to her stomach, and throughout her intestines.



As with many Crohn's patients, my daughter also suffers from fistulas. Fistulas are large ulcers that bore their way into the tissue surrounding the rectum. Sometimes these fisulas cause abscesses. Lee has had 4 surgeries to drain such abscesses. Actually, I should say "to begin drainage", because they continue to drain for weeks afterward, which is very unpleasant.



Lee was getting Remicade infusions, which were working well. She had a dramatic decrease in symptoms for months. Unfortunately, during the last Remicade infusion, Lee had an allergic reaction, and stopped breathing. So she can't do any more treatments for a while, if ever again.



Lee's last hospitalization was due to a severe inflamation in her intestines. She was put on steriods for this, which bloat her up, and cause aggitation, and other nasty side affects.



So this is where we're at now. So, can you blame a mother for wanting to protect her daughter? Can you blame a mother for reasoning that maybe her daughter isn't thinking clearly with her insides turning to mush, and strong drugs coursing through her, and making her miserable?



Mothers have to make tough choices sometimes.

Update on My Daughter

My daughter, Lee, if moving back into our home this week. She seems very relieved. This will take a lot of pressure off of her. Now she'll be able to get her driver's licence, finish school, and find a better job. Actually all she seems to care about right now is redecorating the room she's going into.

Those that comment that I will drive her away don't know my family. We are very tight. And anyone who thinks my daughter has low self-esteem, doesn't know my daughter. Her thing is control. She, like so many other members of our family, likes to be in control. Consequently, she is drawn to weak people that she can dominate. I believe she needed an "out". I don't think she wanted the whole live-in boyfriend package, but she also doesn't want to lose her guy. She can still see him without living with him.

Lee got a little off track with her illness. She needs to get her confidence back and face her challenges, not run away from them. I think she is seeing that now.

Why do people who don't even know our family think I don't know how to handle my own daughter? I was a very young mother, and got married at 19, and my mother tried to stop me. I know very well how strong willed children can be. This is why I know what I'm doing.

Besides, who's going to have to pay doctor bills if my daughter gets sick? Her dad and I will! She won't be able to pay, and it's not like I'm going to just watch my daughter waste away.

Jac & Gio Under the Tree

Hey Baby, sure is nice here under this tree!

How about a little kiss?

How dare you! Don't even think about it, Mister!