Monday, March 26, 2007

I'm Not Good With Ghosts

Yes, that's right; I'm not good with ghosts. This is because I get very attached to people, too attached for my own good. It's just too painful for me to let go of people, so I don't. Yes, I know how "psycho" this is. It's clingy, neurotic, maybe even "stalkerish". It can't be helped, once my complicated mind connects with another person's mind, the bond is hard for me to break, no matter how big the chasm in the relationship. What can I say? It's not that often that I click with someone in the first place!

This is why I know the wherabouts of, and have general information about what's going on in the lives of every person I've had any sort of close relationship with (It's a really short list, so it's not that incredible) I'd explain this further, but then I'd have to kill you.

Anyways, I can handle the whole "Lets be friends" thing. Shoot, I can handle "Let's be enemies." I could even handle, "Lily, would you just go fuck off, already!"

But I can not handle ghosts, people that just slip away for no apparent reason, or explanation, or without letting me explain myself. I have an intense fear about this. I could speculate on what's caused this fear. There's the best friend that dated my brother, broke up with him, and then stopped talking to me. And of course there's the fact that the same brother died very suddenly in a car accident, and disappeared from my life forever. But, whatever it is, the lingering memory of a person who brought joy to my life at one time or another, is just too hard to shake.

So you ghosts out there, if it wouldn't be too much trouble, can you try and work things out with me? I am extremely forgiving and non-judgemental. I'm big on recycling, rather than "dumping".

If not, could ya'll just be meaner? Could you just say, "Hey Lily, you're a fucking psycho. I don't like you, and I don't know why I ever did. Go away, crawl in a hole, and die!",

....if it wouldn't be too much trouble.

And yes, I am on medication, and I have seen a therapist!

1 comment:

paisley said...

i have often just disappeared,, and it wasnt until recently that i realized what a bad practice this is...thanks for sharing your side,,

keep writing