My family is f***ed up! That's how it appears at a quick glance. 2 kids over 18, with no diplomas or GED's. One's pregnant, and unmarried of course. For good measure we invited her 20 y/o boyfriend to live here. Ahem, then there's my 16 y/o son, who excels at music, and skateboarding, but not academics-not in the traditional sense anyway. The youngest, he is a real gem, extremely smart, but extremely immature, and has terrible work habits.
We're broke. Yes we are. Oh we're getting a little better. I actually have a little money in the bank, and a little money in my purse right now, and a stocked pantry. But, we are still living on a shoestings. Various unfinished projects taunt me around my house every day. They mock my and my husband's inability to budget, mend, and maintain. We have a somewhat messy home as well. But in our defense, we do live here.
But are we really that much of a mess as a family? The kids, they do care about each other. They would defend each other against any adversary. After all, kicking each other's butt's is an earned family right, not something just anyone can do! And the kids care about my husband and me. We see this in small gestures from time to time.
My husband and I are best friends who enjoy spending time together. In this world, that doesn't happen nearly as often as it should. That's got to count for something. And our romantic life is alive and kicking.
Each of us, in my little lion pride has our own strengths. These atypical aptitudes rise up now and then when least expected, instilling a little glimmer of hope, that I am not a failure as a parent. I keep telling myself that life is a journey, not a day trip. The end result is what matters most. Some of the most successful people I knew as teens or young adults are not happy, or not stable. I remind myself of this whenever I am feeling inadequate.
Call these excuses, delusions, folly, but who is to say what success really is, and with what yardstick we may measure it? It's not that I set the bar low, but that I allow it to rise and fall as a means of survival. And that, in the end, is the goal of this game we call life.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Sunday, June 1, 2008
We're Going Green!
No, it's not just the new color of my page. We're becoming Suburban Homesteaders!
We've started a vegetable garden, and gotten a rain barrel. (we will be getting more) And I've got a cart-full of cloth diapers online to be shipped.
Why are we doing this? We're doing it so that we can survive in the future. Peak Oil is here, and that mean the gas prices, along with everything that is transported in any mode of transportation requiring gas (everything) will be going up, up, and up! And it's not just the regular old gasoline in the car that is going to be affected-oh no! How do you think they make all those lovely fertilizers that grow our food-oil! And what do you think all your plastics are made with-oil!
So basically, you've got two choices, prepare now, or starve in the future!
http://www.peakoil.com/
Anyway, here are some great sites you have to check out to get you started on your suburban homestead:
http://www.foodnotlawns.com/
An excellent resource on why we should not be spending hundreds of dollars, time, and resources to grow-grass.
http://www.terracycle.net/rain_barrel.htm
The coolest rain barrels made from recycled OAK wine barrels for only $100!!
http://www.cottonbabies.com/
This company has a cloth diaper "try-it" kit for only $30, which includes two diaper covers worth $26 alone! Also, you can get a great deal one one-size fits all (babies, that is) Bumgenius 3.0 Pocket Diapers if you buy 6 or 12. Look under "gift ideas". Check out the Bumgenius diaper sprayer and Bumgenius cloth wipe set either. And Bumgenius PD are made in the USA!
We've started a vegetable garden, and gotten a rain barrel. (we will be getting more) And I've got a cart-full of cloth diapers online to be shipped.
Why are we doing this? We're doing it so that we can survive in the future. Peak Oil is here, and that mean the gas prices, along with everything that is transported in any mode of transportation requiring gas (everything) will be going up, up, and up! And it's not just the regular old gasoline in the car that is going to be affected-oh no! How do you think they make all those lovely fertilizers that grow our food-oil! And what do you think all your plastics are made with-oil!
So basically, you've got two choices, prepare now, or starve in the future!
http://www.peakoil.com/
Anyway, here are some great sites you have to check out to get you started on your suburban homestead:
http://www.foodnotlawns.com/
An excellent resource on why we should not be spending hundreds of dollars, time, and resources to grow-grass.
http://www.terracycle.net/rain_barrel.htm
The coolest rain barrels made from recycled OAK wine barrels for only $100!!
http://www.cottonbabies.com/
This company has a cloth diaper "try-it" kit for only $30, which includes two diaper covers worth $26 alone! Also, you can get a great deal one one-size fits all (babies, that is) Bumgenius 3.0 Pocket Diapers if you buy 6 or 12. Look under "gift ideas". Check out the Bumgenius diaper sprayer and Bumgenius cloth wipe set either. And Bumgenius PD are made in the USA!
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Petition to God
This is a very important petition to God. If you're a Christian (heck, even if you're not), please add your name, and pass it on to everyone you know. Billions of souls could be saved!
Dear God,
I know you have a big plan that you must have spent a long time working on. I know your plan is to let all those who accept your son Jesus as their savior go to heaven-a beautiful place where everyone is always happy. And I know you send everyone else to hell, a place of eternal torment. But I have to ask you, God, is this really fair?
God, I have friends and relatives that aren't Christian. I told them all about your son, and heaven and hell, but they tell me, they just don't believe. It's not that they didn't try, Lord, they just can't believe. Some of these people believe in other gods, or other methods of salvation, and some don't believe in any gods or religion at all. A lot of these people are very good people. They work hard, pay their taxes, take care of their spouses and families, and are kind to their fellow man.
God, you must realize that these people you created are just human beings. You gave them free will, so shouldn't they be able to decide who they want to worship, or if they want to worship at all? Why would you give them a choice, and then punish them if they don't choose the way you want them to? Why would you reward people just for accepting you and your son, regardless of everything else they did in their lives? Why, I can just imagine how many jerks are in heaven right now, because they repented on their death beds!
I know you can do anything, Lord, so this is what this petition is all about. I want you to let all the good people into heaven. Yes, I know no one is actually "good enough" to bask in your almighty presence, but you know a lot of people have pure hearts, and do their best. I actually don't want you to send anyone to hell, but maybe you could send all the bad people to some less torturous, but unpleasant place, such as the waiting room at the DMV. I believe this would be far more fair and productive than your current plan.
Sincerely,
Your child-Lori-Ann K. of Philadelphia
PS Please don't smite me!
Dear God,
I know you have a big plan that you must have spent a long time working on. I know your plan is to let all those who accept your son Jesus as their savior go to heaven-a beautiful place where everyone is always happy. And I know you send everyone else to hell, a place of eternal torment. But I have to ask you, God, is this really fair?
God, I have friends and relatives that aren't Christian. I told them all about your son, and heaven and hell, but they tell me, they just don't believe. It's not that they didn't try, Lord, they just can't believe. Some of these people believe in other gods, or other methods of salvation, and some don't believe in any gods or religion at all. A lot of these people are very good people. They work hard, pay their taxes, take care of their spouses and families, and are kind to their fellow man.
God, you must realize that these people you created are just human beings. You gave them free will, so shouldn't they be able to decide who they want to worship, or if they want to worship at all? Why would you give them a choice, and then punish them if they don't choose the way you want them to? Why would you reward people just for accepting you and your son, regardless of everything else they did in their lives? Why, I can just imagine how many jerks are in heaven right now, because they repented on their death beds!
I know you can do anything, Lord, so this is what this petition is all about. I want you to let all the good people into heaven. Yes, I know no one is actually "good enough" to bask in your almighty presence, but you know a lot of people have pure hearts, and do their best. I actually don't want you to send anyone to hell, but maybe you could send all the bad people to some less torturous, but unpleasant place, such as the waiting room at the DMV. I believe this would be far more fair and productive than your current plan.
Sincerely,
Your child-Lori-Ann K. of Philadelphia
PS Please don't smite me!
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Monday, October 1, 2007
Blame the Atheist Part 1 The Pledge of Allegiance
Lately it seems that some in this country want to engage in a game of "blame the atheist". I will be writing a series of blogs examining some hot issues in this country concerning religious and political issues, starting with the Pledge of Allegiance.
The claim
Atheists are making a big deal out of nothing. They want the Pledge of Allegiance banned because it says "under God".
1916
In Chicago, 11 year old Hubert Eaves, a black student refused to recite the pledge as a protest to Jim Crow laws, and state-approved lynchings. He stated, “I am willing to salute the flag as the flag salutes me,” Hubert was arrested for not showing respect to the flag.
1943
During WWII, in The West Virginia State Board of Education v. Barnette, the Supreme Court held that students were protected from being forced to salute the American Flag and say the Pledge of Allegiance in school. The students involved in that case were Jehovah's Witnesses, fighting for their freedom of religion.
1954
At the height of the cold war, and American paranoia over Communism, the Knights of Columbus fought to have the words "under God" added to the Pledge of Allegiance. President Dwight Eisenhower signed the bill adding the words "under God" stating,
In this way we are reaffirming the transcendence of religious faith in America's heritage and future; in this way we shall constantly strengthen those spiritual weapons which forever will be our country’s most powerful resource in peace and war.
1987
The following exchange takes place between reporter Robert I. Sherman & George H. W. Bush during a press conference:
Sherman: What will you do to win the votes of the Americans who are atheists?
Bush: I guess I'm pretty weak in the atheist community. Faith in God is important to me.
Sherman: Surely you recognize the equal citizenship and patriotism of Americans who are atheists?
Bush: No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God.
Sherman (somewhat taken aback): Do you support as a sound constitutional principle the separation of state and church?
Bush: Yes, I support the separation of church and state. I'm just not very high on atheists.2000
Two students are punished for refusing to say the Pledge of Allegiance or salute the American flag. Two atheist students? No, one Baptist student said his faith prohibits idol worship. The other student refused to recite the pledge, raising a fist of defiance in support of his friend, and was paddled for his actions.
2001
In reaction to the September 11th terrorist attacks, Wisconsin passed a law requiring all schools to offer the Pledge or National Anthem daily. The Madison School Board voted to use only an instrumental version of the national anthem so that no student would feel pressured to vocalize the words of the pledge or anthem. Wisconsin Governor Scott McCallum responded to this in a press release:
Most Wisconsinites are looking for ways to enhance our armed forces and support our country; some people are looking for ways to diminish our belief in God and country. It is disheartening, but in a free country you have patriots and you have the freedom for a few oddballs who place politics above patriotism.2001
Virginia state Senator Warren E. Barry tries to have school children forced into reciting the Pledge When other Senators object, Barry calls them “spineless pinkos.”2005
17-year-old Cameron Frazier is harassed and punished when he expressed his First Amendment right to not participate in the Pledge of Allegiance.
Still think people are making a big deal out of nothing when it comes to reciting the Pledge of Allegiance?
The claim
Atheists are making a big deal out of nothing. They want the Pledge of Allegiance banned because it says "under God".
1916
In Chicago, 11 year old Hubert Eaves, a black student refused to recite the pledge as a protest to Jim Crow laws, and state-approved lynchings. He stated, “I am willing to salute the flag as the flag salutes me,” Hubert was arrested for not showing respect to the flag.
1943
During WWII, in The West Virginia State Board of Education v. Barnette, the Supreme Court held that students were protected from being forced to salute the American Flag and say the Pledge of Allegiance in school. The students involved in that case were Jehovah's Witnesses, fighting for their freedom of religion.
1954
At the height of the cold war, and American paranoia over Communism, the Knights of Columbus fought to have the words "under God" added to the Pledge of Allegiance. President Dwight Eisenhower signed the bill adding the words "under God" stating,
In this way we are reaffirming the transcendence of religious faith in America's heritage and future; in this way we shall constantly strengthen those spiritual weapons which forever will be our country’s most powerful resource in peace and war.
1987
The following exchange takes place between reporter Robert I. Sherman & George H. W. Bush during a press conference:
Sherman: What will you do to win the votes of the Americans who are atheists?
Bush: I guess I'm pretty weak in the atheist community. Faith in God is important to me.
Sherman: Surely you recognize the equal citizenship and patriotism of Americans who are atheists?
Bush: No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God.
Sherman (somewhat taken aback): Do you support as a sound constitutional principle the separation of state and church?
Bush: Yes, I support the separation of church and state. I'm just not very high on atheists.2000
Two students are punished for refusing to say the Pledge of Allegiance or salute the American flag. Two atheist students? No, one Baptist student said his faith prohibits idol worship. The other student refused to recite the pledge, raising a fist of defiance in support of his friend, and was paddled for his actions.
2001
In reaction to the September 11th terrorist attacks, Wisconsin passed a law requiring all schools to offer the Pledge or National Anthem daily. The Madison School Board voted to use only an instrumental version of the national anthem so that no student would feel pressured to vocalize the words of the pledge or anthem. Wisconsin Governor Scott McCallum responded to this in a press release:
Most Wisconsinites are looking for ways to enhance our armed forces and support our country; some people are looking for ways to diminish our belief in God and country. It is disheartening, but in a free country you have patriots and you have the freedom for a few oddballs who place politics above patriotism.2001
Virginia state Senator Warren E. Barry tries to have school children forced into reciting the Pledge When other Senators object, Barry calls them “spineless pinkos.”2005
17-year-old Cameron Frazier is harassed and punished when he expressed his First Amendment right to not participate in the Pledge of Allegiance.
Still think people are making a big deal out of nothing when it comes to reciting the Pledge of Allegiance?
Monday, September 24, 2007
Do You THINK Before You Talk (Type)?
Do you ever think that you might be hurting someone's feelings when you expouse your .02 theory on ADHD, or any other mental disability? Really, you know one person who got the wrong medication, a misdiagnosis, or made a hasty decision, and you think you know everything?
Did it ever occur to you that people with ADHD are human beings, many of which have suffered their whole lives, not knowing why? Did it ever occur to you that people like us come from long lines of dysfunctional families, and just as we're relieved to finally know what's swirling around in our genepool, along comes some thoughtless jerk telling us we're making it all up, or we're looking for an excuse to take drugs?!
Did it ever occur to you the agony that parents go through, searching, striving, struggling to help their children? Did it ever occur to you that people HAVE tried everything else before putting their children on medication? Did it occur to you that these people might have a problem disciplining their children, because their children don't act like eveyone else's children?
Did it ever occur to you that teachers work their asses off for low-pay, and low-recognition, dedicated to the education of ALL children, and that they might know a thing or two about a child who is standing out like a sore thumb?
Did it ever occur to you that not all children with ADHD have behavior problems? Many are just inattentive, with memory and focusing problems. And many that seem to have behavior problems are just crawling under their skin having trouble sitting, paying attention, and completing their schoolwork?
So maybe your child was misdiagnosed, or you don't agree with a diagnosis your child got from one doctor, or a suggestion from one teacher. Get over it! You made your decision, you either chose to accept one teacher or one doctor, medicate your child, not medicate your child, and it went bad. Whose fault is it if you didn't get a second, third, or fouth opinion? And because it didn't go well for you, ADHD doesn't exist, or the teachers and doctors are pushing drugs, or ADHD is way overdiagnosed?
I've got news for you. ADHD is underdiagnosed as much as it's overdiagnosed. There are people out there who won't get help for themselves or their children, or who won't try medication, because of stupid people that won't mind their own business about other people's mental health, who spread stereotypes, and malicious misinformation!
How about this, you keep your mouth shut about things you are not going through, and have no clue about?! How about you find out the truth about ADHD, that medication is not a magic bullet for behavior, and that stimulants make non-ADHD people MORE hyper, and "zombie"-like behavior can be a temporary side-effect of medication. How about you just be supportive, and stop the judging, and hurtful remarks?
It's only a forum posting for you, a debate, a comment, but THIS IS MY LIFE!
I didn't go to the verge of destruction and back to read snide, thoughtless remarks about ADHD.
Did it ever occur to you that people with ADHD are human beings, many of which have suffered their whole lives, not knowing why? Did it ever occur to you that people like us come from long lines of dysfunctional families, and just as we're relieved to finally know what's swirling around in our genepool, along comes some thoughtless jerk telling us we're making it all up, or we're looking for an excuse to take drugs?!
Did it ever occur to you the agony that parents go through, searching, striving, struggling to help their children? Did it ever occur to you that people HAVE tried everything else before putting their children on medication? Did it occur to you that these people might have a problem disciplining their children, because their children don't act like eveyone else's children?
Did it ever occur to you that teachers work their asses off for low-pay, and low-recognition, dedicated to the education of ALL children, and that they might know a thing or two about a child who is standing out like a sore thumb?
Did it ever occur to you that not all children with ADHD have behavior problems? Many are just inattentive, with memory and focusing problems. And many that seem to have behavior problems are just crawling under their skin having trouble sitting, paying attention, and completing their schoolwork?
So maybe your child was misdiagnosed, or you don't agree with a diagnosis your child got from one doctor, or a suggestion from one teacher. Get over it! You made your decision, you either chose to accept one teacher or one doctor, medicate your child, not medicate your child, and it went bad. Whose fault is it if you didn't get a second, third, or fouth opinion? And because it didn't go well for you, ADHD doesn't exist, or the teachers and doctors are pushing drugs, or ADHD is way overdiagnosed?
I've got news for you. ADHD is underdiagnosed as much as it's overdiagnosed. There are people out there who won't get help for themselves or their children, or who won't try medication, because of stupid people that won't mind their own business about other people's mental health, who spread stereotypes, and malicious misinformation!
How about this, you keep your mouth shut about things you are not going through, and have no clue about?! How about you find out the truth about ADHD, that medication is not a magic bullet for behavior, and that stimulants make non-ADHD people MORE hyper, and "zombie"-like behavior can be a temporary side-effect of medication. How about you just be supportive, and stop the judging, and hurtful remarks?
It's only a forum posting for you, a debate, a comment, but THIS IS MY LIFE!
I didn't go to the verge of destruction and back to read snide, thoughtless remarks about ADHD.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Our Journey To Homeschooling
I wrote quite a while back about how we began homeschooling. Shame on me for not continuing the story sooner.
3 weeks of school had gone by in Red's 3rd new school in 3 years. I had seen the classroom they had my son relegated to-a dingy 9 x 12 modular at the end of the school, with stained carpet, and sallow walls. Mrs. S. wanted to talk to me about Red's math. She felt he couldn't do 5th grade work. This is a child who could count handfuls of coins when he was 4 years old. This is a child who was once in the advanced math class. I couldn't understand it. "I thought the point of having small group instruction was so that Red would get more help." "I've got 2 6th graders doing 3rd grade math.", was Mrs. S's reply.
"And I want to leave my child here to learn?", I thought.
That was but one of the red flags that went up the first month of school. Red was coming home crying, miserable. I watched all sense of vitality draining from my child. The grand finale in this disastrous placement was going to Back To School night. For 30 minutes, my husband and I sat in the auditorium listening to the school principle extol the virtues of his school, referencing their shining PSSA scores.
Since I'd already met my son's special education teacher and seen his cell-I mean special ed classroom, I decided we'd go to the regular classroom, and meet the regular ed teacher. The teacher was very enthusiastic, going on about all the great things our kids would be learning this year in her classroom. While I listened, I scanned the room looking for my son's essay. All over the walls were essays the children had written to show off to the parents. I looked and looked, but could not find my son's. Finally I spotted it hidden behind a desk, hung so low on the wall, it was almost on the floor. When the teacher was done talking she greeted some of the parents individually. She chattered on with little Bobby's mom, and Susie's dad. Then I approached, extended my hand, and gave a warm smile. "Hi, we're Mr. & Mrs. K..., we're Red's parents." You would have thought I'd said, "Hi, our son's the leper in your class." The teacher cast her eyes down, her wrist went limp, and she hurriedly dismissed us to go talk with someone else. I had to grab back her attention to ask her about music lessons. I'd been wanting Red to learn guitar. "That's probably not a good idea, Red needs all the time he can get to work on his regular subjects. Guitar would be a distraction."
I had barely made it to the car as my eyes welled up. I felt like complete shit. I thought if one hour in this school made me feel like this, what was 6 hours a day doing to my 10 year old son! That is when I made the determination to get my son out of there, and teach him myself. I couldn't possibly do any worse.
Thank the Internet gods, that I came across some very helpful people who got the ball rolling for me. I actually enrolled Red in a public cyber-charter school. The first week was frentic. But little by little we made a lot of progress. I saw that spark come back to my child's eyes.
The next year, AJ joined us at home. Homeschooling proved to be quite a good formula for him as well.
Fast forward 5 years later, and I've got two happy, intelligent boys working to their fullest potential. They're not geniuses. I'm not into trying to prove anything to anyone else. What they are are independent free-thinkers. They're both talented musicians as well.
3 weeks of school had gone by in Red's 3rd new school in 3 years. I had seen the classroom they had my son relegated to-a dingy 9 x 12 modular at the end of the school, with stained carpet, and sallow walls. Mrs. S. wanted to talk to me about Red's math. She felt he couldn't do 5th grade work. This is a child who could count handfuls of coins when he was 4 years old. This is a child who was once in the advanced math class. I couldn't understand it. "I thought the point of having small group instruction was so that Red would get more help." "I've got 2 6th graders doing 3rd grade math.", was Mrs. S's reply.
"And I want to leave my child here to learn?", I thought.
That was but one of the red flags that went up the first month of school. Red was coming home crying, miserable. I watched all sense of vitality draining from my child. The grand finale in this disastrous placement was going to Back To School night. For 30 minutes, my husband and I sat in the auditorium listening to the school principle extol the virtues of his school, referencing their shining PSSA scores.
Since I'd already met my son's special education teacher and seen his cell-I mean special ed classroom, I decided we'd go to the regular classroom, and meet the regular ed teacher. The teacher was very enthusiastic, going on about all the great things our kids would be learning this year in her classroom. While I listened, I scanned the room looking for my son's essay. All over the walls were essays the children had written to show off to the parents. I looked and looked, but could not find my son's. Finally I spotted it hidden behind a desk, hung so low on the wall, it was almost on the floor. When the teacher was done talking she greeted some of the parents individually. She chattered on with little Bobby's mom, and Susie's dad. Then I approached, extended my hand, and gave a warm smile. "Hi, we're Mr. & Mrs. K..., we're Red's parents." You would have thought I'd said, "Hi, our son's the leper in your class." The teacher cast her eyes down, her wrist went limp, and she hurriedly dismissed us to go talk with someone else. I had to grab back her attention to ask her about music lessons. I'd been wanting Red to learn guitar. "That's probably not a good idea, Red needs all the time he can get to work on his regular subjects. Guitar would be a distraction."
I had barely made it to the car as my eyes welled up. I felt like complete shit. I thought if one hour in this school made me feel like this, what was 6 hours a day doing to my 10 year old son! That is when I made the determination to get my son out of there, and teach him myself. I couldn't possibly do any worse.
Thank the Internet gods, that I came across some very helpful people who got the ball rolling for me. I actually enrolled Red in a public cyber-charter school. The first week was frentic. But little by little we made a lot of progress. I saw that spark come back to my child's eyes.
The next year, AJ joined us at home. Homeschooling proved to be quite a good formula for him as well.
Fast forward 5 years later, and I've got two happy, intelligent boys working to their fullest potential. They're not geniuses. I'm not into trying to prove anything to anyone else. What they are are independent free-thinkers. They're both talented musicians as well.
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